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At a very young age, I was exploring feelings that I fully didn't understood. I remember the good old days of AOL with a dial up modem. It was the time to be alive. To be able to have so much information on a click of a mouse was unheard of. Nowadays, we take it for granted as humanity just feels like it's heading backwards instead of forward. Have you ever seen those kids that are just glued to their phones nonstop? I have to admit I can be on my phone but I am already fully developed, these kids need to experience something more than a cell phone screen. Either way, finding information on the young internet was very rough but I was eventually successful.
I used to be into Hentai a lot, it was just something that really turned me on. I would look at it nowadays but it's just not the same feeling. I will never forget this website called Anime Un-cut which was named that way for obvious reasons. I was just happy looking at photos, but sometimes there would be video downloads. The videos were very short, but the download would take forever and you know how it was for dial up, things would take so long to download. I remember downloading Duke Nukem 3D for the PC, the shareware version. The game literally took five hours to download! I remember it came cut into five parts in order to store it on a floppy disk. It was brutal! I also did get a phone call in the middle of a download so guess what? You would have to start over from the beginning. Those were the day...
So one night, my twelve year old self was on the computer, just browsing my usual sites. I got into Anime Un-cut and found a video download! It would definitely take a while but my night had just started and we barely got any calls at night so I figure I would try my luck. This was all done through the AOL program using their browser. I still remember the good old 'Welcome, You got mail!' sounds which I still keep on my I-phone nowadays. The video started but you could see a preview of it when clicking the link. You photo was of this girl on top of another girl. Now, my attention really rose to the max! What is this all about? I thought. I started to not use the internet in order for the download to finish faster. I even went to play some DOS games in order to kill some time. The download was nearing its end...it finished...and then I clicked play....
Hello, it's been quite a bit of time since we last talked. I was hoping I could talk to you face to face but this will have to do. I am writing this letter because I wanted to clear some things out. What happened two weeks ago was not meant to happen and I hope you don't think any different of me. I do care about other beings but sometimes, one can get lost in the moment. I did not meant it, I do feel a bit of shame, well a lot of shame about it. I know you have been avoiding me, but just know that I wouldn't be avoiding you, after all, I want to clear things out.
Where can I start? What can I do? I need to know where we stand, I need to know if my efforts and explanations will be heard, if not, am I just wasting my energy? I hope not. I just want you to know that you are someone fun to be around with and are very smart. What else can someone ask for? It's a little weird that I can't say these things face to face, this will do.
I am always amazed by the things you do, the words you say, you are always forcing me to figure out what is going on in that mind of yours. Never change, got it?
Can we go out for tea? Maybe coffee?
