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Friday, February 20, 2026

Estrogen






The day has finally arrived, everything has come to this

After so much pain, struggles, but victory, it’s here

The way I will change, the way I’ll never be the old me

Excitement overflow, everything will be alright

The day has finally arrived, am I finally me?

 

Fear comes to mind, this is the right option

Fear takes over, I can’t put myself through this

Fear is leaving my body, this is right

This is what I’ve been missing, this is what I must do

Fear is nothing, defeat it now, become yours truly

The day has finally arrived, putting fear aside

 

The needle looks scary, it needs to go in

The dosage looks amazing; this is what’s missing of me

I finally stuck it in, fear still pondering around

The liquid starts gushing in, I’m finally feeling it

The final drop is in, what’s next? What now?

The day has finally arrived; It’s in me now

 

Feeling euphoric, what was missing is in me

Feeling that it’s right, pure bliss and happiness

The road has finally started, let’s keep doing great things

Let’s live life as my true self, let’s go!

Estrogen is in me; I am finally the true me

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Saturday, February 7, 2026

The Appointment Part I

The time was now; I just couldn’t wait any longer. Already being neglected by everyone around me, I rushed into the appointment which I eagerly waited for a long month. What was this you may wonder? It’s an appointment that will change the course of my life but let’s start from the beginning.

 

                Always feeling like I didn’t belong, I grew up in a very confusing time. Not being allowed to express myself, not being able to scream who I really was inside, everything was suppressed like time staying still. As a kid, I always had curiosity and attraction to certain things. I did not understand it, and I didn’t have anyone to ask as I was too afraid to speak. Once again, I’m suppressed for years on. Living in a household where you are shut down expressing your upmost feelings was rough, I always had to be behind the lines seeing others enjoy the things I wanted to enjoy and being forced into the role that I was supposed to be due to what is considered normal back then. Now that I think about it, being forced into something you don’t want to is anything but normal, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one feeling that one. I wanted to dress a certain way, I wanted to speak a certain tone, I wanted to be with a certain group, all of these were neglected, ignored, suppressed.

 

One day, a wonderful thing called the internet entered my home. I had a whole cyber world into my fingertips and a way to explore who I really was. I had to let out of these suppressed feelings something. Sadly, I couldn’t really had the privacy to explore such things so I left it as is and followed the role I was supposed to follow. Now that I think about it, it all makes sense. All the dots connect once I reminiscence about my past. I was able to hide a folder with my most hidden secrets and thoughts. It was all able to fit on a floppy disk and I’m so glad my family didn’t even bother to check those.

 

                The adventure is just beginning as I have so much more to talk about my suppressed feelings and the way they finally were able to be freed to find my true self.  

                                                                                                                                To be continued…

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